


Betrayal

by Tseecka



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Axel as Team Bicycle, Betrayal, Harsh Language, M/M, vague smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-25
Updated: 2014-06-25
Packaged: 2018-02-06 05:03:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,361
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1845310
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tseecka/pseuds/Tseecka
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Desperate to remember what a heart feels like, two young men find each other...but can a person ever expect a lover's loyalty from someone who cannot actually love?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Betrayal

They never thought of him as a whore. He slept with a different member of the Organization every night, kissing and touching and promising his way into their beds, and they welcomed him. There was nothing after, no attachments; Axel never expected or was expected of. It was cheap meaningless sex. And they appreciated it. That last shred of something that belonged to those with hearts--he gave it back to them. Even if there was no love there, in the midst of their union they could remember what it might have once felt like.  
  
They didn’t look down on the redhead for his promiscuity; they were thankful for it. He gave them back a small shred of their hearts every time he buried himself deep inside them, or opened himself to their penetration.  
  
In attitude, however, he was every bit the whore. He moaned and writhed and teased like the world’s best minx when he was the bottom, and groaned and threw his head back and hips forward with wild abandon when he was the top. He prided himself on the simplistic ease with which he could coax his way into any bed on any nght.   
  
But then Roxas came, and everything changed.   
  
It was slow, at first, their courtship. It began with Axel testing his wiles on the blond newcomer, and being violently informed that he would have to find solace with another that night--it ended up being Demyx, in that case.  
  
As time wore on, Axel was often turned away to his more regular partners, nursing bruised skin and a bruised ego each time. But he refused to give up, seeing the fulfillment of his pledge to bed the young man as a reassurance of his own desireability.  
  
When Roxas finally broke down, it wasn’t to the sounds of flirtatious laughter or of unbridled passion. It was with a heaving sob and clutching fingers and a plea for Axel to show him how it should be. The redhead had hugged him tightly and gently borne him to the bed as though no more words were needed, and used his hips and skilled, tender hands to reassure his small lover. And when the blond finally let out a cry of pleasure rather than pain, Axel opened himself, where his heart would have been, and let all the chaotic hurt flow from the 18-year old boy into himself. For the first time in years, Axel felt tears running down his face as he lay with the other, and a deep hatred took root for the man who had done the unspeakable to the boy.  
  
The night following, Axel came to Roxas again, and this time Roxas welcomed the redhead to his bed with opened arms and a gentle, shy, but encouraging smile. They didn’t actually sleep together that night, but the long dark hours spent wrapped up in each other’s innocent embrace made them closer than sex ever could.  
  
Axel began to spend less and less time in the beds of his other partners, the young blond giving him something he hadn’t ever felt with any of the others. When he was with Roxas, he though he could remember, more clearly than ever, what it felt like to have a heart. It was powerful; it was addictive. And it was what kept him coming back to the same embrace night after night, until the night came when Roxas asked Axel to be his, to stay with him forever, and Axel agreed. It was the closest things to love that two heartless, soulless beings could ever experience.  
  
Then Roxas left, one day, suddenly and inexplicably. Axel didn’t even know that his lover had left until the night he came to their bed and found it cold and empty. He spent that night in loneliness, and the next, and the next after that, until one night Demyx came to him and asked him to come to him, and Axel agreed. For old time’s sake.  
  
Demyx wasn’t Roxas; his body didn’t move the same, his lips and fingers left different chocks throughout his body, and his voice as he cried out in rhythm with their passion was not the blond’s. But in his loneliness and his need, sex with Demyx stamped down the feelings of undesirability that had plagued the redhead since Roxas’ departure and allowed him to, for a few hot, blissful hours, forget about the absent Roxas.  
  
Until the night Roxas returned, his steps tired and haggard as he dragged himself into their rooms, bruises and scrapes evident all over his body, and found Axel and Demyx in the midst of their midnight rendezvous. As Axel looked up at Roxas’ face, his own drawn into an expression of pain and pleasure all at once, for the first time in all his years of shameless promiscuity and string-less sex he felt like a whore.  
  
Roxas stared at him, hurt filling his features, and turned to leave. Axel felt a pain filling his empty soul and opened his mouth to call his lover back but all that tore out of his throat was a low moan as the oblivious Nocturne filled him, not even realizing Roxas’ prescience. The sound tore through the blond, and tears rolled down his cheeks as he left Axel and Demyx behind, locked together at their hips.  
  
In reality, he couldn’t blame the redhead for finding solace in another’s body. He had left, with no choice and no explanation. He knew how weak, how needy, Axel was. It was only to be expected. But he was bitter, truly and deeply bitter. Maybe it was his experiences that had scarred him, the days he had spent under Saix’s thumb and the nights under Saix’s body. He was bruised inside and out, physically and emotionally, in need of Axel’s healing touch and gentle words. But they were given to someone else.   
  
Maybe it was too much to expect a lover’s loyalty from someone who couldn’t truly love. But it hurt all the same.  
  
Axel tried to come back to him, but his fluttering touches and kisses and his pained, heartfelt words fell onto cold skin and deaf ears. Roxas pushed him away, his feelings of betrayal outweighing the care he had one had for the other. Finally, Axel gave up and went back to Demyx, and Xaldin, and Xemnas and Xigbar and anyone else who would take him, as though he could forget about the blond at will--but it wasn’t so easy.  
  
The day came, the day Axel wished he could have died before having to live through. Word passed through Xigbar’s sex loosed lips of Roxas’ departure, and Axel was gone to the gateway of the non-existent Town before he could say anything more. He didn’t even take the time to go by foot, and opened a door to darkness from point to point.  
  
They exchanged words, both being more-or-less civil and each hiding other feelings--Axel’s feelings of loss and betrayal, Roxas’ anger and bitterness. Finally Roxas felt his resolve melting away, faced with the voice and face of his once-lover. He took in all the rage and hurt he had felt--upon walking in on Axel and Demyx, hearing the experiences of the others with the redhead and being invited to share as though their nights together were nothing more than that of a customer and his whore--and directed it into one sullen, caustic comment. “No one would miss me.”  
  
Axel wanted to drop to his knees, something in his chest twisting painfully, but he remained standing. He heard the veiled remark, the unspoken accusation, the veiled insult. ‘No one would miss me--they would just jump into the next available bed and fuck /it’s/ occupant senseless into the mattress.’ And the thought that Roxas thought of him that way, that he had so little faith in Axel’s fidelity and loyalty and /love/, almost destroyed him.  
  
“I would,” he whispered, tears rolling down his face and running the kohl around his eyes and on his cheeks--but too late. Roxas was gone, Axel was alone, and both felt as though half their heart was missing. 


End file.
